I was reading an article the other day about sending your children off to college. In many cases students are not dropping out of college because they can't achieve academic success. Instead, they are dropping out of college because of the social and mental demands. Although college is ten years away for my oldest child, I found the article very interesting. While it is natural for parents - well, I'll speak for myself, to want to rescue our children and be their problem solvers in difficult situations, you have to let your children struggle a little.
Parents place so much emphasis on the study skills required to gain entry and attend college. Working hard on college entry exams. Making sure their children take advance placement courses for college credit. These are undoubtedly important. On the other end of the spectrum parents are dropping the ball when it comes to the mental preparation and social skills that will make a student's transition to college a successful one. Isn't that just as important?
There are basic life skills we can incorporate into the lives of our young children. By starting early, children will work on developing skills over the years and hopefully result in a student that will be ready to tackle both the academic and mental demands of college. Some of the areas students are lacking? The ability to take criticism of work constructively, successfully working on projects with partners or in small groups, or effectively communicating with faculty and fellow students.
What little change can I make to help my children persevere through such issues and transitions in life?
After thinking about this, I believe a change I can make to help my children prepare for college is to let them struggle a little. It is hard to resist the urge to fix things for young children, but I do believe it will build character and help them develop goals they would like to achieve. Take a step back and allow them to try and apply the lessons they have been taught so they can learn how to work through situations.
As adults, I am sure we can sit back and recall times we have struggled. In high school, college, at work, in relationships. It is a part of life and how we deal with these situations molds us into the people we become.
My son's first day of kindergarten
Did you have a hard time acclimating to college? Do you allow your child to struggle through situations? What other traits are important for a successful transition to college?
This is so difficult to face as a parent. I struggle every day with how to let my son struggle and yet still feel encouraged. While not being an easy task, I agree that it is one of the most important things we can do for them. I didn't go to college myself but I was a professional ballet dancer and know how hard self motivation can be. One of the things that my parents did that really helped me was to set me up to find what I loved to do and encouraged me to find the ways to get it. Since I was working toward what I wanted, and understood that in order to get it I had to work hard, then I was more self motivated. This is something I try to do with my son even though he is only five because I hope that he will carry it with him to college or whatever he chooses to do after high school.
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