Taking Responsibility

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." - Abigail Van Buren

It is important for children to take responsibility for their behaviors and actions.  I am a firm believer of consistency and follow-through when parenting a child.  It is the best way to achieve a desired behavior.  Fulfilling responsibilities of being a mom, wife and managing a home, sometimes it is difficult to be consistent when parenting. 

My son is six years old and although he is a sweet and fun-loving child, he also is at an age where he is pushing boundaries and trying to exert his independence.  I was looking on-line, trying to get inspiration for a responsibility and chore chart.  I put together some ideas and jotted some notes but never put one together.  One day shopping, I came across the Melissa and Doug Responsibility Chart.  It helped pull everything together.

Melissa and Doug Responsibility Chart

Each night at bedtime, I sit with my son and we go through the responsibilities he is working on.  Currently we are focusing on getting dressed for the day and brushing teeth without being reminded.  Cleaning up toys and his bedroom before the end of the day.  To me, the most important on his chart are being respectful and no whining.  He looks forward to see how he will be acknowledged for his behavior each day.  Has he done better than the day before?  Did he keep up his good behavior?  He is motivated to improve his position on the chart.  When he has achieved positive acknowledgement for a behavior consistently for a week, he looks forward to picking a new responsibility or behavior to work on improving.  What is better than that?  A child picking a responsibility or behavior he wants to work on!

The beauty of the chart is that it offers a natural way to have dialogue with your child about desired behaviors. If they achieved a desired responsibility or behavior the positive praise and visual reminder will go a long way to reinforce this.  When a desired responsibility or behavior is not achieved, it offers a natural way to discuss without appearing to be scolding the child. 

A great feature of the Melissa and Doug chart is there are a ton of responsibilities to select from.  Sharing, saying please and thank you, clearing the table, not using bad language, no teasing and emptying the dishwasher are just a few choices of responsibilities or behaviors you can choose to work work on. 

Whether you create your own chart or go purchase one, I do believe it is worth the time and investment.  The great thing is that you can use it as often or as little as you feel necessary.  Do you need to address behaviors daily, go to the chart.  Has behavior been really good and suddenly there is a rough day or week you've been experiencing, pull out the chart. 

With consistency and follow thru you will begin to see desired behaviors.