Let's Play . . .

It's hard for me to understand why so many parents are quick to have play dates.  I think it's important for children to socialize outside of school.  To me it's funny how easily a parent is willing to take my child for a play date.  I don't feel obligated to return the invitation.  After all, I will monitor where and how my child spends his time.

I'm going to be honest, when a mom asks for my son to have a play date I usually call another mom familiar with the family who'd like to have my child over.  I'm generally a good judge of character - still for play dates, I don't just go with my gut.  I am looking for more information on the family.    Here are some of the things I think about.  How is their parenting style?  Will my child be properly supervised or left to his own devices? Is the parent hosting a disciplinarian or are they more relaxed?  Are there older siblings that will have their friends over the same time?  Does the father work from home?  Will the parent allow unsupervised playtime in the backyard or on the street?  These are just a few, trust me, I've got a laundry list!  First and foremost, I have to feel comfortable my child will be in the hands of a structured, supervised environment.  You might think I'm crazy - it wouldn't be the first time I've been told that!

It is also frustrating when parents ask for a play date in front of my child.  All of a sudden my child wants to forgo any plans and head straight for the play date!  That's not how I work.  I think it's better to send an email or call the parent personally to see if the logistics work out.  I once had a mom call me on speaker phone with her child to ask my son for a play date.  I knew the day wouldn't work because we had an appointment after school.  The mom made a big production telling her son on speaker phone that I said he couldn't have a play date.  Is that a fair position to put me in?  Wouldn't it have been better for everyone if we had a private conversation or email correspondence setting up a play date with a day and time that worked for both of us?  It made me want to not interact with any parent that would put myself, and more importantly their child, in that situation.

To me, a play date is a privilege given to a child. We already participate in two extracurricular activities each week. He sees his friends in school five days a week.  He gets to have recess and lunch with his friends.  As a bonus, we walk to school.  This means if my son behaves we are able to stop on the school playground for some more playtime on the way home. To have a play date is a bonus! 

What do you think of play dates?  Do you schedule many?  Do you feel your child doesn't get enough?  Are you overwhelmed with the prospect of entrusting another with the safety and well-being of your child?